Let It Out.

Lately I have been having a rough time. I moved to Georgia and haven’t been having much luck finding a job. It’s been 4, almost 5, months and I feel like a failure. I know that I couldn’t expect a job overnight and I know that I am new to the job world with the fact that I just graduated college, but I was hoping for better luck.

Lately it’s been harder to stay positive about the whole thing because I feel I can’t talk to anyone anymore. What I mean by that is when I talk to my parents, the same conversation happens. “Have you found a job?” “Are you trying hard enough?” etc. questions like that. I feel bad talking to my friends back home because the only thing I do is complain about no job, no money, no friends, and little things that bother me about my living situation.

I’m grateful for my brother and the opportunity he has given me by letting me stay here and then eventually paying rent when I get a job, but I feel bad. I feel in the way. I feel like I’m an inconvenience to everyone. I love my family and my brother had to remind me tonight that this is what family does for each other. They help each other out.

I try to stay positive. I put on music and dance around my room just to make myself laugh. I paint, which is how I relax, and I watch movies, which makes me happy. I do things that I can, but sometime you just have to cry.

Today all the emotions came out and I’ve been really down. Just laid in bed thinking all day. I think this will actually help me stay positive because I took the time to pay attention to how I really am feeling. I know that I need to make changes in my life, but as far as doing that, I need a job first. I am stressed out and I know finding a job will help me relax.

My suggestion to everyone is to cry it out. Acknowledge when you’re upset otherwise it is going to get bottled up and it could turn into something ugly. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to feel weak. At the end of the day, I can tell myself it is going to be ok. Even though it isn’t at this exact moment, doesn’t mean it’s going to be like this forever.

Life is full of highs and lows. Sometime the lows are really hard, but if you learn to pick yourself up after, you’re going to be just fine. The only reason that you will remain in a low part in your life is because you chose to stay there. I am going to take some time to get to a high part in my life again, but that doesn’t mean I am giving up. I know what I need to do to get there and I’m going to continue to work towards that.

Let it out. Scream! Don’t let things bother you for long periods of times. Talk to someone, vent. Cry. Do whatever it is that you need to do to be able to move forward. We all have days where we aren’t full of smiles. That is a part of being human. No one person is positive all the time. Remember that.

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